


i had a dream of you, you were drifting away.

by rxckestrxck



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Almost Confessions, Angst, Canon Compliant, Letters, M/M, Phone Calls, abed and annie friendship, abed isnt over it, abed missing troy, alexa play payphone by maroon 5, all characters are written for cuz why not, annie is the best friend in the world, around season 4 or 5 idk, real confessions, someone please help him, the study group hovers, troy and abed reunion, troy is sailing the world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:40:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27702898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rxckestrxck/pseuds/rxckestrxck
Summary: “Well, come on. We’re gonna be late if we don’t leave right now.”Abed picked himself up off of the ground and went to leave the room, grabbing his cross-body bag that hung on the inside of the door.“Wait. Abed. What is that?”“What is what?”Annie was already leaning over to pick up a small piece of paper off of the floor. Abed just stared at it. It clearly fell off of the bunk bed he was just in, it certainly wasn’t on the floor earlier in the day. He watched Annie examine it. It was an envelope. She flipped it over, and in a bold font on the front of the paper, there was one word.ABED.
Relationships: Troy Barnes & Abed Nadir, Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	1. we'll try the best that we can to carry on.

It didn’t take long at all for his world to feel like it had been turned upside down. Not completely, all of his friends still did their best to make him feel comfortable. Did a little /too/ much of their best, he realized. Like he was sensitive. Yes, it was an open wound, but the last thing he wanted was to be treated like a child. He couldn’t blame them, however, they weren’t sure how to comfort him. Something that would work for one of them certainly wouldn’t work for Abed. And none of them ever really got his relationship with Troy. To approach the touchy subject was an impossible feat for any of them, no matter how hard they tried. So it was either the largest elephant in the room, or they wouldn’t shut up about it. Abed needed a healthy middle. That was too much to ask of his friends, he soon realized. Too much indeed. Looking back, he couldn’t think of one instance in which any of them got a healthy middle of a situation they found themselves in. They couldn’t do healthy middles. They couldn’t really do healthy to the best of their ability, either, despite having a ‘psychiatrist friend’. Britta was the worst of all when it came to talking about Troy. She spoke slowly to him any time they brought it up. Surely not trying to be condescending, but it definitely came off that way. Abed attended her sessions she offered to him so not to hurt her feelings. That was another thing, he found that in all of his friends’ attempts to comfort him, he ended up doing whatever it was they needed to feel like they were helping. They all just wanted to feel like they were helping. Who was he to steal them of that? Especially when deep down, he knew they weren’t getting anywhere. It was a wound, wide open, and Abed was okay with that. He was okay.  
He had ten minutes or so before his presence was expected at the Save Greendale Committee meeting. He liked getting there on time, having a schedule kept him sane. If he didn’t have a schedule, he’d surely be laying in his apartment staring up at the ceiling. Yeah, ceiling. He slept on the top bunk, now. He found it was better than sleeping on the bottom. For a few weeks after Troy left, any time Abed would lay in bed and stare at the bottom of Troy’s bed for too long, he’d make up in his head that he’d be up there. Asleep. In the same room as Abed. And then he’d scramble off his bed to peek and see Troy and tell him he missed him and how he was so glad he was finally back.

But he wouldn’t ever be up there.

So sleeping on the top bunk saved him from disappointment.  
Abed hated that feeling.

He crawled out of the position he was in, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and hopping down. On his way down, his foot got caught in the blanket, and he took it down with him with an exclamation. He landed on the floor with the blanket covering his face, sprawled out in what was, admittedly, a very funny position. Annie came rushing in at the same time he was collecting himself from off the ground. “Abed!” She knelt down beside him, throwing the blanket to the side to make sure her friend hadn’t sustained any injuries.

“I’m fine, Annie. I got caught in the blanket.”

“I sure see that. That’s a Bunk Bed Rookie Mistake, Abed!”

“I know. I thought I had a clear landing, I mapped it out and everything. I didn’t take the safety precautions.” 

He rubbed his head, despite it not really hurting that much. He learned that’s what people did after they fell down in movies. So he just picked it up.

“Well, come on. We’re gonna be late if we don’t leave right now.”

Abed picked himself up off of the ground and went to leave the room, grabbing his cross-body bag that hung on the inside of the door. 

“Wait. Abed. What is that?”

“What is what?”

Annie was already leaning over to pick up a small piece of paper off of the floor. Abed just stared at it. It clearly fell off of the bunk bed he was just in, it certainly wasn’t on the floor earlier in the day. He watched Annie examine it. It was an envelope. She flipped it over, and in a bold font on the front of the paper, there was one word. 

ABED.

“Is this.. Yours?”

“I’ve never seen it before.”

She handed him the envelope, and he inspected it for himself. It was a little wrinkly, most likely from how Abed must’ve been laying on it. It was under the blanket. Or somewhere on the bed, for sure.

“It’s probably a letter from a super cool CIA agent and they’re recruiting you! Or- or it’s your Hogwarts letter! Wait, do you even like Harry Potter? Nevermind, not important.”

It wasn’t either of those, but Abed couldn’t tell her that.  
It was Troy’s handwriting.

“Yeah. Cool. Cool cool cool.”

Abed stuffed it in his backpack and walked out the bedroom door, heading for the front door of their apartment. Annie shook her head, albeit a little confused at how unenthused Abed sounded, but learned to not question his reactions to anything. She followed suit, and they left for Greendale together.

\--

They took their respective seats in Study Room F, the last ones to arrive for the meeting. Well, last ones out of those who got there on time. Jeff was always late. Frankie started without him.

“So, on the matter of the surplus of calculators-”

“Wait, what? Surplus of calculators?”

Britta let out a chuckle. Abed didn’t. It certainly wasn’t the weirdest thing that they’d ever had to deal with.

“Did I forget to tell you all about that?”

“I think I’d remember the phrase ‘surplus of calculators’, Frankie.”

“Well, just last week, Dean Pelton placed an order for 500 calculators.”

“That’s really not that many, right? Greendale’s population is right under a thousand students.” 

Jeff spoke as he finally walked in and took his seat at the table. He was wearing what looked like a brand new leather jacket. Abed scratched a notch in the side of the table under a category labeled ‘new leather jackets’. It was the sixth one. 

“Right. Well, he /thought/ he placed an order for 500 calculators. He actually placed an order for 50,000 calculators.”

“Fifty thousand? Did I hear you right?”

The rest of the conversation drowned out in Abed’s mind. They’d find a way to comically get rid of the calculators, cancel the order, make an outfit of calculators for the dean to wear, something like that. It was no longer important. All he could think about over the sound of Britta, Jeff, and Frankie’s voice was the thought of the letter in his back pocket. One thing he didn’t hear was Annie’s voice. His eyes flicked over to where she was sitting. She was already looking at him, raising her eyebrows and nodding to him. She was tired of this conversation as well, as it seemed. Abed knew what she was hinting at. He shook his head.

She cleared her throat.

“Abed found a letter in his bed.”

Everyone got quiet, looking to Abed. Abed wanted to disappear. 

Jeff spoke up. “A letter? In your bed?”

“P? Was the letter P? HA! Abed peed the bed!” Chang exclaimed, clapping his hands together like it was the smartest thing he’d ever come up with.

“Guys, can we-?” Frankie tried steering the conversation back to the calculators at hand, but Annie wasn’t having it. 

“No. Abed, show them. He found a letter that was in his bed. It has his name on it.”

Abed looked to Elroy for help, he usually was an advocate for keeping personal business personal. He was asleep.

“Guys, it really isn't a big deal. I’ll open it later.”

“Abed, that’s silly. What if it’s important?” Annie was now talking directly to him. Jeff, Britta and Chang looked expectedly, leaning in more and more as they all waited for him to pull out the letter. So he did. He reached into his back pocket and slapped the folded, wrinkly envelope on the table in front of him. ABED. That’s what it said. 

“Oooh, looks like a secret admirer.”

“What if it’s the CIA?”

“That’s what I said!”

“You idiots, it has his name on it. That means he wrote it.”

“Chang, do you know how letters work?”

“Duh, they spell stuff.”

“How were you ever a teacher?”

“I lied.”

“Fair enough.”

They all shouted out guesses as to what the letter was, not knowing that Abed knew exactly what it was. Maybe not what the contents were, but he knew who the letter was from. He debated telling them, but he knew they’d pry him to open it.

“Guys.”

They continued to speak over him, arguing with each other and gesturing wildly to the piece of paper lying on the table. No one was listening.  
“GUYS.”

They continued to talk, seemingly even louder than the first time he tried getting their attention. Annie and Britta were trying to convince Jeff the letter /was/ from the CIA. Abed wished that were the truth.

“GUYS!”

He might’ve yelled a bit too loud, but on top of them ignoring him the first two times, they were kind of stressing him out. The letter in general was stressing him out. They all immediately got quiet, waiting to see what he was going to say.

“Jeez..” Chang mumbled, as if he wasn’t just yelling at the top of his lungs.

“I know who the letter is from.”

That made them all but jump up in their seats. Who knew that a mysterious piece of paper would get everyone so excited?

“What? You didn’t tell me that.” Annie swallowed, probably feeling guilty for prying Abed.

“I didn’t want to. If I wanted to talk about it then I would’ve. You don’t understand that.”

The room fell silent. They all seemed to slump in their seats a little bit. Annie felt horrible.

“...So who’s it from?”

“CHANG!”

The room scolded him all at the same time. 

“What? We were all thinking it.”

“Abed, you don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to. That’s a beautiful thing called ‘your personal business’.” Elroy had woken up and sided with Abed a little bit later than he needed him to. He still appreciated it.

“If you all want to know so bad, it’s from Troy.”

And that got the exact response he knew it was going to elicit. Everyone sighing and doing the Stupid Pity Thing. That’s what Abed named it. Any time anyone mentioned Troy around Abed, they all did the Stupid Pity Thing. It’s the thing where they sigh and tighten their lips and raise their eyebrows like he’s a puppy abandoned on a doorstep. Sometimes they’d even reach out their hand to touch his. That was the Upgraded Stupid Pity Thing. No one Upgraded that time. 

“Wait. Troy left weeks ago.” Jeff looked confused. Britta shot him a glare.

“Yeah.” Abed looked at him, a bit confused as to where he was going with this.

“You’re telling me the letter was in the blanket of your bed?”

“Yeah.”

“Jeff, shut up. Stop playing detective.” Annie seethed at him. Any time /anyone/ stepped outside the Stupid Pity Zone, they all got angry. It’s like they weren’t allowed to treat Abed like a human person for at least five minutes. When Jeff tried, Annie bit his head off. Britta was holding Abed’s hand. Guess she Upgraded.

“So you’re telling me you haven’t washed your sheets in weeks?”

“I guess that’s what that means.”

“Gross.”  
Abed shrugged. Maybe it was gross. He couldn’t bear to tell them the truth. The truth was, he didn’t want to wash the sheets because then it wouldn’t smell like Troy anymore. If he admitted that, everyone would think he was a weirdo. More than they already did. He washed the sheets on the bottom bunk, just never the top bunk. He’d have to eventually, but he didn’t want to think about it. He was trying to hold on to every sliver of Troy he had left. 

“Abed..”

Frankie did the Stupid Pity Voice. Apparently even Frankie could forget about her calculators just to be condescending.

“Hey, no, don’t encourage that behavior. Abed, wash your sheets.”

“Okay.”

“Jeff, shut up. Don’t make him wash his sheets.”

“Are you serious? Okay, no. I’m not enabling this. That’s gross. I’m not gonna pretend it’s not gross just to spare someone’s feelings.”

That was the best thing anyone had ever said to him since Troy left. It was honest, it wasn’t condescending. It was something a real friend would say. It was just real. There were no feelings to be spared to begin with. He wanted to say thank you, but he knew it wouldn’t make any sense, so he just nodded to Jeff.

“Okay, ignoring Jeff’s rude comment..” 

Britta sneered at him, looking back to Abed and squeezing his hand, giving him puppy dog eyes. She really was Upgrading the hell out of her Stupid Pity Thing. Abed looked around the room at everyone’s eyes. The way they were sitting. The way they kept glancing back to the letter Troy wrote to him. They wanted him to open it. They wanted to know what Troy had said. It was personal, Elroy was right. It was his own personal business and he didn’t have any obligation to sit there and open it in front of them, let them know what it said. Abed didn’t even know if he wanted to know what it said. He was trying to get over the loss of losing him, even if he wasn’t actually gone. Reading some emotional letter was certainly not going to help that process. And who knew, maybe it wasn’t emotional. Maybe it was a list of jokes Troy didn’t want Abed to forget. Maybe it was a recipe that he thought Abed would like. Maybe it was..

Okay, no matter the possibility of what might be in the envelope, the fact that it was from Troy was enough to make Abed tear up. And he didn’t want to tear up. Not in front of his friends. But at the same time as all of that, he wanted to open it. He wanted to show his friends that he was strong enough to acknowledge that Troy was gone and he was man enough to handle that fact. Maybe opening it would prove to them that he was fine and they’d bury the Stupid Pity Thing once and for all. The mere idea of that being a possibility was enough to make him want to tear into it immediately.

“I’ll open it. On one condition.”

“What? What’s the condition? We have to sell our kidneys? Dude, I’ve only got one left. I can’t get rid of the other one, but I wanna know so bad! Come on, Abed!”

Everyone just glared at Chang.

“What’s.. The condition?” Jeff raised an eyebrow, seemingly reluctant, even though he had no idea what the condition was. Boy, he really hated inconveniencing himself for others.

“None of you can do the Stupid Pity Thing.”

“What’s the stupid pity thing?”

“No. Stupid Pity Thing.”

“That’s what I said.”

“No, Annie, there’s a difference. Only the reader is gonna understand because I’m sort of breaking the fourth wall here.”

Annie shrugged. Britta rolled her eyes. They hated when he did that.

“I know what you mean, kid.” Elroy nodded, “The thing when everyone goes ‘oh’ and pouts and does the eyebrow thing?” 

Spot on. Abed nodded back at him and they had a short moment of connection. At least someone knew what he was talking about.

“We don’t do that, Abed.” Britta scoffed, like she was offended that her friend would assume she pitied him.

“You actually do it more than any of them, Britta. You’re holding my hand because Troy left me a letter.”

Britta looked down at their hands and quickly pulled hers away. He got her. She shut up.

“We can do that, Abed. Right, guys? No pitying. No matter what’s inside.”

Annie nodded at everyone, they shrugged and nodded back. Then Annie nodded at Abed.

“Okay. We promise.”

So Abed took a breath, took the wrinkly envelope in his hands, and tore into it before he could have the idea of changing his mind. Troy would get mad at him if he didn’t open something he left for him. So he was doing it for Troy. He reached inside and pulled out a folded up piece of paper. Upon opening that, he realized that it was a letter. A handwritten letter. Just for Abed. He started to skim over it, aware of everyone’s eyes on him. Before even reaching the second paragraph, he folded it back up, shoved it in the envelope, stood up from his chair, and took it with him as he quickly left the study room. The rest of the committee stared at each other, dumbfounded.  
A silence passed.

“....So what do you think it said?” Elroy was now curious.

“Whatever it was, it wasn’t good.” Jeff replied, sighing.

“Or maybe it.. was just so good that he had to read it alone?” Annie looked around for approval from the rest of the group. They all just shrugged. Even with Abed gone, they couldn’t help but do the Stupid Pity Thing all together. 

“...Maybe he just can’t read.”

“CHANG.”

“Yeah- sorry. Sorry. My bad.”


	2. but i'm not finished, cause you're not by my side.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abed’s phone started to ring. He reached for it in his pocket, but it wasn’t there. It sounded muffled, so he dug in the couch cushions until he was able to take a hold of it. When he checked, it was a number that wasn’t saved in his phone. Abed never got scam calls, so he wasn’t sure who it was. Despite better judgement, he answered.
> 
> “Hello?”
> 
> “Abed? Abed!”
> 
> No. No fucking way. Not happening.

There was nothing anybody could’ve said to him after reading that letter that would’ve comforted him about Troy leaving. They could never comfort him, anyway, but this time he knew he wouldn’t even let them try. After leaving the study room abruptly, he made his way outside and found himself sitting on the first set of steps he came across. Abed knew that he only had a limited time to try and read the entire thing before someone came after him, so he pulled it out of his pocket and read it through again. And again. And again, and again until he heard a familiar voice call to him from the doorway.

“There you are! Abed, are you okay?”

No response. He kept his back turned to Annie as his grip tightened on the paper in his hands. He felt tears threaten the corners of his eyes and his throat burn. She couldn’t see him cry. Something told him she was going to, eventually, but he didn’t want that to be right then.

“Abed. Hey.”

She did what Abed was scared she was going to do. She made her way down the steps and sat next to him, trying to look at his face that was pointed at the letter in his hands. She didn’t bother asking, but tried gently to pull the paper away from him. He let his hands go limp, let her take it. He let her read it. She made a few audible Pity Sounds while she read it next to him, then folded it gently again and tried to smooth the creases on her lap. She turned her attention to him.

“Abed, I-”

“Don’t.”

“Are you sure?”

No response. He didn’t want to cry, and if he spoke any more than that one word, he knew the floodgates would be thrown open. She seemed to pick up on the nonverbal cue, and only sat with him silently. She didn’t try to hold his hand, she didn’t try to hug him. She didn’t make any more sounds. Annie just sat with Abed for the sole purpose of giving him company. That blissfulness lasted approximately thirty-six seconds before the other familiar voices blessed the doorway. They were mostly talking amongst themselves, but he heard Troy’s name tossed around a few times. Annie stood up, turning to the rest of the committee. 

“I think Abed wants to be alone. Do you think we could all do that for him?”

The group started to speak up, but Abed stood abruptly, turning to his friends. Don’t cry. 

“It was an apology.” He gestured to the letter that Annie was holding. “If you wanted to know, still.” Annie went silent. 

“An apology? For what?” Frankie asked as gently as a person could ask. The rest of them stayed quiet. 

“Everything. Troy listed every single time we ever got into an argument and apologized for it. Even when it wasn’t his fault. He even apologized for times that I was upset for reasons that didn’t involve him. He apologized for not being there sooner. And he apologized for leaving.”

No one seemed to have anything to say. They must not have expected that answer. So Abed kept talking.

“He apologized for getting the top bunk, too. He apologized for things that never needed an apology. He apologized for things that I was supposed to apologize for. It was everything. Everything he could think of. He even apologized for leaving me the letter. He apologized for apologizing.”

At that point, a silent tear rolled down the side of Abed’s face, across his cheek. His voice was wavering, and he had his hands as straight as a pencil down at his sides.

“Is anyone going to say anything?”

More silence. They were just.. staring. Like they always did when they didn’t know what to say to him. Abed couldn’t stand it. He swallowed back everything that wanted to come out and nodded, taking the letter out of Annie’s hands and walking up the steps, pushing past the group that had gathered in the doorway. Some people he didn’t even recognize had been listening to him. 

That was enough for one day. Abed made his way back to his apartment.

\--

He didn’t lay on the top bunk. He didn’t lay on the bottom, either. Abed ended up falling asleep on the couch to 50 First Dates. It wasn’t necessarily a good movie, but it was the one on the top of the stack beside his TV. He wasn’t in the mood to be picky. Especially since he knew he was going to fall asleep. Even though it was true, he liked to keep a tight schedule most of the time, he got physically exhausted when he cried. Anyone would. Especially if anyone cried as hard as Abed did that afternoon.

He had fallen asleep clutching the paper in his hands. The tear-stained letter from his best friend. It was more wrinkly than it was before, but it didn’t matter; he didn’t want to read it anymore. Abed had read the damn thing enough to where he practically had parts of it memorized. So there was no more need to read it again. Troy’s handwriting was enough to send him spiraling all over again, and he was done.

“Abed?”

Annie’s voice scared him, and he jumped up into a sitting position on the couch. She was already in the house, she’d walked out of her bedroom once she heard him wake up, he guessed. 

“When did you get here?” He swallowed back a lump in his throat.

“I knocked earlier, but you didn’t answer. I thought you were just in a bad mood, but then I saw you were asleep. I turned off that Adam Sandler movie for you, too.”

“Thanks, I guess. Sorry I locked you out.”

“Well, just glad I had a key. And if you don’t mind me asking, why Adam Sandler? That’s so unlike you.”

“First movie I-”

Abed’s phone started to ring. He reached for it in his pocket, but it wasn’t there. It sounded muffled, so he dug in the couch cushions until he was able to take a hold of it. When he checked, it was a number that wasn’t saved in his phone. Abed never got scam calls, so he wasn’t sure who it was. Despite better judgement, he answered.

“Hello?”

_“Abed? Abed!”_

No. No fucking way. Not happening.

“Who is it?” Annie asked from the kitchen, starting to approach Abed who hadn’t answered the person on the other end.

“Scam call.” Abed stood and made a beeline for his room, slamming the door shut and locking it as Annie started to ask, “I thought you didn’t get sc-”

He slid to the floor with his back against the door, holding the phone up to his ear.

_“Hello? Abed? Can you hear me?”_

It was Troy.

There was no way that this was happening. Someone had to be pranking him. Troy was at sea. Troy wasn’t supposed to be back in a long, long time. He didn’t have his cellphone. It checked out, he supposed, with the number that wasn’t saved. He was hallucinating. That was the only reason. Abed couldn’t figure out what to say, but knew that whoever was on the other end would hang up if he didn’t reply.

“I-I can hear you. Yes.” The words came out shaky and nervous. His voice cracked a bit.

_“Abed! Oh, Abed, you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. Abed. Abed, Jesus.”_

Troy kept saying his name, and it was just a little punch to the gut each time. This was Troy. Troy was on the other end.

“How are you calling me? What are you doing?” His mind finally started coming back to him, and the questions he wanted to ask came back as well. 

_“I’m docked off the coast of Italy, I had to stop for- fuck, Abed, dude. Don’t tell anyone I called. I don’t want them to get upset. Dude- they had a pay phone, I- I didn’t want to make anything harder on you or harder on anyone else but I remembered your number and someone offered me a free call so I don’t know what anyone expected me to do! I’m only a man, Abed, I-”_

Two more punches to the gut as Troy said his name, and one more for good measure after he heard him say ‘fuck’. He went silent again, this was so much to process. And on the same day he found the letter. It had to have been fate. Abed believed in a lot of things, coincidences didn’t just happen.

“Troy. It really is you?”

_“Of course it’s me! I know you don’t give your number out to anyone.”_

Silence. It was true. Abed couldn’t think of what to say. A few more beats passed.

“How long?”

_“How long what?”_

“Can you stay on the phone?”

_“...Oh, Abed. I don’t- uh. I don’t know. I want to say five minutes.”_

Silence.

_“Abed?”_

“Sorry.” The lump reappeared in his throat.

_“Don’t be.”_

“I miss you so much.” He sniffed, trying to make it sound like a normal sniff, but he knew Troy could probably tell the difference. Abed didn’t want Troy to know he was crying, but in all honesty, he was the only one that ever really saw him cry. Really cry. So he knew what it sounded like.

_“I miss you, too.”_

“I didn’t get to tell you something when you were here.” Abed didn’t think about what he was going to say before it was already falling past his lips and into the open.

_“What didn’t you tell me?”_

“I think. Um. I- I think that I..”

Silence. Troy was waiting for him to finish.

“Well, can I ask you something first?”

No response.

Then Abed realized the call ended.  
He pulled the phone away from his ear frantically, just seeing his home screen of his device. As fast as he could work a phone with tears stinging his eyes, he went to his recent calls and tried dialing the number Troy had called from, holding it up to his ear again and trying not to cross his fingers. Abed was afraid he’d jinx it. Instead of ringing, it went to a long beep. He lost him.

“Abed? Abed? That’s a.. long scam call, Abed. Are you okay?” 

Annie’s voice and the light knocks on his door were the last thing he heard before he dropped his phone, his head fell into his knees and he started sobbing. He lost him.

\--

It took a little over an hour for Annie to convince Abed to come out of his room. Well, it would’ve been longer, but she ended up doing less convincing and more picking the lock. When she walked in, she found him curled up in Troy’s blanket from the top bunk and leaning against his bed on the floor. He’d stopped crying for the most part, just a few hiccups every few seconds as his body tried to catch its breath. Annie rushed to his side, not saying a word before wrapping her arms around him and burying her face into his shoulder. She was crying, too.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because you were crying!”

It was a fair enough answer, and he shook his head gently, he’d been at a loss for words ever since he came back to the apartment. Annie wasn’t trying to get any answers out of him, which he appreciated, especially because he knew she wanted to ask a million and one questions. She just held him and tried to make him feel like things were gonna be better. Everyone in the study group tried to make him feel like things were gonna be better, and while no one ever really succeeded, Annie got the closest. When they were on the steps, she didn’t try to get any answers out of him. She was doing the same, now. Abed wondered if she knew how much he appreciated it.

“Don’t answer any more scam calls.”

The two of them chuckled a little bit, Annie longer than Abed. He owed her an explanation. No one else, just Annie.

“It was Troy.”

“It was? How?”

“He said he was docked off the coast of Italy and they had a payphone.”

“Oh, Abed.”

That was all she needed, he figured. Just knowing it was from Troy and not everything they said. Abed didn’t even bring up the letter, he realized. Maybe he should’ve. But there were a lot of things he would’ve said if he had more time. Annie could sympathize, now. Now she knew why he was crying. Now it would be easier for them to understand each other. And maybe, just maybe, everything would end up being okay. 

Abed didn’t like coming to terms with anything. Anything that needed to be come to terms with was never a good thing. But it was inevitable. Either he came to terms with things or they kept hurting him for a lot longer than they should. He’d eventually pick himself up, eventually start feeling like things would be okay and just keep counting down the days until Troy came back. 

But he was okay where he was, in his friend’s arms. She didn’t expect him to be okay, she never loosened her grip. He felt safe. He felt safe knowing that no one in that room had any expectations for his feelings. Abed never even really knew how to comprehend his own feelings, and she was patient with him. Annie was always patient.

It’s okay to come to terms with things and heal. It’s good.  
And it’s okay to sit on the floor wrapped in a blanket with your best friend for just a couple more minutes. It’s good, too.


End file.
